The fear of being abandoned. The terror of
being lonely forever. The anxiety of being utterly dependent upon another.
The panic of unbearable vulnerability and
exposure. The dread of the looming death of yourself and everyone around you.
These are the great fears that come as you
wake, as you fall asleep, and as you dream through this life.
In your willingness to take a risk, to feel
everything, to truly allow another to matter, and to expose yourself to an
eternal sort of heartbreak, you come face to face with the most devastating
fear that you’ve ever known, but have never been able to articulate: that you
are loved.
For when you are truly loved, when you are
entirely seen, when you are fully held, it is the end of your world as you know
it. Things will never be the same. You will never again be able to pretend that
you are other than precious and whole as you are. The implications of this are
dizzying if you let them all the way in.
It is so exhilarating to be seen and held
in this way, but it is also terrifying as you are fully naked now, utterly raw,
and achingly wide open. Even the breeze as it passes you feels as if it might
be too much, for it goes right through your skin to touch your heart. A
sunrise, the longing of a little baby, the autumn leaves, looking into the eyes
of your lover – you may never be protected again. The particles of love are
interpenetrating your entire sensory world and you are just not sure your heart
and nervous system can take it.
You are free to be who and what you are now
– no longer tied to a past you thought you wanted, no longer bound by the
limited, willing to risk it all for love, and free to be the fearless wildness
that you are.
Matt Licata, Sounds True
Editor-at-large
